Friday, September 16, 2011

The Road Ahead

The forecast called for snow in Yellowstone National Park this morning. Instead I woke up to a chilly drizzle which issued from low-hanging clouds that shrouded the geyser basin in a mist made luminescent by the rising sun. The gloomy weather seemed appropriate to me on a day like this, for today marks the end of a glorious chapter - a passage, if you will - in my life. Today I left Yellowstone.

As I watched the sun set on Montana for the last time just a while ago, it struck me that I'm no less fascinated by this country than I was two-and-a-half months ago. In fact, I would say that I'm even more captivated. There seems to be no end to discovery here, and the more you learn the harder it is to walk away. Yet this is a walk that is necessary. We must all physically come down from the mountain at some point - even if our spirits remain on the summit. However, the walk is not that of a frustrated or defeated man; it is one of a changed man.

I'm still finding it hard to believe that, at this time tomorrow, I'll be frantically packing my belongings in preparation for moving back to school. Ohio seems distantly unfamiliar to me - a sort of sub-mythical place that I've heard stories about, but have no real understanding of. It's funny how viewpoints can change in just less than three months. In expressing to one of my closest friends my anxiety of returning to Ohio, it was suggested to me that I re-read Psalm 104: "O Lord, how manifold are your works! In wisdom You have made them all. The earth is full of Your possessions," (Psalm 104:24 NKJV). I realized that, in this sense, Ohio is no different from Yellowstone. God is not partial to any certain region of His creation, so why should we be? Wherever we dwell, so also dwells the Lord.

Certainly my heart is ready to come back home (if I can call it "home" - these days I feel more like a homeless wandering nomad). The things I've seen and the lessons I've learned this summer have truly been life-changing. I have acquired a new outlook on life and, perhaps more importantly, I've become better acquainted with myself as a person, as a worker, and as a follower of Christ. I miss my family and my friends, and I really should be getting on with the business of graduating... But my body and my soul want nothing more than to remain in the mountains - free to continue exploring and growing.

Who's to say, though, that growth and exploration can't take place in Ohio? We are limited only by ourselves in this regard, and my summer experience would be worthless if I was unwilling to take it and continue to apply it - no matter the setting. In any case, I'm going back whether I like it or not. The choice is mine whether to embrace the fact or rebel against it, and I choose the path of acceptance.

I have decided that this will be my last blog entry. It's a shame that it consists of incoherent ramblings, but at this point in time, my brain is just as messy with flurries of emotions and thoughts as I try to turn it back to civilization. I would like to thank everyone who has been reading along this summer, and I hope that you've managed to mine a nugget of truth or two from the chaos that is my writing. Thanks to my family and friends who have been so supportive of me and this crazy adventure I've been on. Most of all, thanks to God for revealing Himself to me and helping me discover who I am in His eyes.

Wildy yours,
Paul

No comments:

Post a Comment